The Glass has always been half empty for me, Yup I'm a pessimist, and I let it show.
When it rains im not impressed by the rainbow, I hate the humidity and the muck. For all we know rainbows form when god feels Gay and not in the Happy way.
People are either Optimists or Pessimists, and don't even get me started on those who call themselves hopeful realists, they are the pessimists masquerading as optimists, come on now who are you fooling ?
A pessimist is never disappointed Studies say people are depressed most of the times because of unfulfilled expectations. Arre Boss …when you don’t expect anything from anyone or you expect the worst, no man (or for that matter even woman) in this world can disappoint you.
When I expect the worst and it happens, I should in fact feel happy…what I predicted occurred, and do.
True optimists can often annoy me because I think they are quite stupidly naive about how mean this world really can be, its not all Wonderful day, and glorious Evening.
I don't agree with the idea that pessimists don't expect a good outcome, they just believe a good outcome is harder to achieve and not likely to just work out in the end, "Achha hai" if it does work out they are pleasantly Surprised, if not "Pata tha" , No Biggie. As they say A pessimist is either right or gets a pleasant surprise.(Its a Win-Win situation no?)
Positive thinking makes people better consumers, so advertising promotes it endlessly. You see a wider picture in negativity.
Now pessimists are thought to be whiny complainers; Reality Check; Don't be vocal and complain and you get nothing. You even gotta ask/pray to all knowing God for what you want, assuming he is there and listening. You gotta Whine in time it sure saves Nine.
Pessimism seems far more realistic to me. They may be complainers but maybe it's because they see the negatives as well as the positives and therefore acknowledge that you have to tackle the wrong as well as reap the benefits of the good, as opposed to somebody who believes things will work out all right in the end.
You Really got to be a Realist Who says the “light at the end of the tunnel” always resembles “hope”. Give a thought, why can’t it be – “the light of the oncoming train.”
And it sure as hell helps my line of work, in a patient its always better to assume the worst, and come to a diagnosis by exclusion, so you don't miss out on anything.
Now I know no one may read this post, and those who do will not agree, being a pessimist I don't care , I just write what I want without expecting anyone to read it , and speaking of expectations -----------------------------------Remember, a pessimist also expects… so what…if it’s the worst.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Gurus Can Be Funny Too !!
Some reades Might find the material Offensive.
But I had to share this clip, it is sure funny as hell.
This is a audio clip form one of OSHO's (Bhagwan Rajneesh) discourses.
It starts off slow but gets insanely hilarious towards the end, Laugh riot guaranteed.
For parts / pronunciation not understood read the Text form of the Audio Clip Bellow
THE LAST QUESTION BHAGWAN,I FEEL SHOCKED WHEN YOU USE THE WORD 'FUCK'.WHAT TO DO?
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words.
The English language should be proud of it.
I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word.
One Tom from California has done some great research on it.
I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame.
He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'.
It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
In language it falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck).
It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful).As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'.
Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:
Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Ignorance: Fucked if I know.
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!
*Aggression: Fuck you!
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job.
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.
Request: Get the fuck out of here!
Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!
Greeting: How the fuck are you?
*Apathy: Who gives a fuck?
Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.
Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
Anxiety: Today is really fucked.
And it is very healthy too.
If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat.
That's how I keep my throat clear! Enough for today.
**Personal Note To Those Offended Read the * above
But I had to share this clip, it is sure funny as hell.
This is a audio clip form one of OSHO's (Bhagwan Rajneesh) discourses.
It starts off slow but gets insanely hilarious towards the end, Laugh riot guaranteed.
For parts / pronunciation not understood read the Text form of the Audio Clip Bellow
THE LAST QUESTION BHAGWAN,I FEEL SHOCKED WHEN YOU USE THE WORD 'FUCK'.WHAT TO DO?
Sargamo, it is one of the most beautiful words.
The English language should be proud of it.
I don't think any other language has such a beautiful word.
One Tom from California has done some great research on it.
I think he must be the famous Tom of Tom, Dick and Harry fame.
He says: One of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'fuck'.
It is one magical word: just by its sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love.
In language it falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John), and as a noun (Mary is a fine fuck).
It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful).As you can see there are not many words with the versatility of 'fuck'.
Besides the sexual meaning, there are also the following uses:
Fraud: I got fucked at the used car lot.
Ignorance: Fucked if I know.
Trouble: I guess I am fucked now!
*Aggression: Fuck you!
Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
Difficulty: I can't understand this fucking job.
Incompetence: He is a fuck-off.
Suspicion: What the fuck are you doing?
Enjoyment: I had a fucking good time.
Request: Get the fuck out of here!
Hostility: I am going to knock your fucking head off!
Greeting: How the fuck are you?
*Apathy: Who gives a fuck?
Innovation: Get a bigger fucking hammer.
Surprise: Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!
Anxiety: Today is really fucked.
And it is very healthy too.
If every morning you do it as a Transcendental Meditation -- just when you get up, the first thing, repeat the mantra "Fuck you!" five times -- it clears the throat.
That's how I keep my throat clear! Enough for today.
**Personal Note To Those Offended Read the * above
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Miss you - Mhatari cha Boot !!
Though not as famous as their Babylonian counterpart, the terraced Hanging gardens (Ferozeshah Mehta Gardens) are definitely one of the not to be missed places to visit in Mumbai, cool and green, laid out in 1881 over Bombay's main water reservoir, some say to cover the water from the potentially contaminating activity of the nearby Tower of silence. They provide lovely sunset views over the sea, some rather wonderful botanical specimens and contain some of the most interesting bestial topiary (Clipped hedges in form of animals, one of the bush is even clipped to form Hanuman all with long tail, gada and the mountain in hand)
Though adults love Hanging Gardens, which are about the only oasis of green in South Mumbai, the main landmark that imprints on Children is the Mhatari Cha Boot that stands across the road, in Kamala Nehru Park which is often confused with the hanging gardens proper.
Kamala Nehru Park with its paved paths (unlike Hanging Gardens that have dirt paths) is as green as the Hanging Gardens but has more by way of entertainment, for kids and grown ups alike.
From here one can see the spectacualr view of Mumbai - Chowpatty and the queens necklace (Marine Drive)
There is also single storied observation deck where we used to have picnic lunches, when I was a kid, which is still as popular.
The Round Deck
It also offers a breathtaking view of the Chowpatty and The queens Necklace.
The View from when I was a Kid and from the same location Now.
The chief attraction for kids of all ages and for me then and now is the Boot shaped structure inspired by the famous nursery rhyme "There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe" which gives it its popular loved name "Mhatari Cha Boot"
For me Hanging gardens used to be synonymous with "Mhatari cha boot" and I used to look forward to my mother (adults were still allowed inside then) taking me up the dark and cool staircase that went up the inside of the boot, and led to the small balcony up front above the laces. I can still vividly recall the how the old concrete walls of the boot almost shut out the outside light and sound, it was like being in a completely different place, smooth walled, cool, dark and tunnel like. That small balcony is the tallest place in the garden and as the garden is already atop a Hill (Malabar Hill) it gave one of the most stunning view one that; by the time I reached High School; only children were a privy to, for the door to the boot was made too small for adults to enter. after a few years a horizontal bar was put up across the door already reduced in height, so that only children bellow a certain height could enter, and how we cursed our growth hormones then. But still the boot had company as small children enter that alternate dimension of the boot's interior. The Boot and children were still happy, and though I missed going in myself I found some joy in looking at the bright looks on kids faces as they stood in that balcony. Then some jerk in the govt. decided it was too risky to let unsupervised children into the structure alone (Bloody dumbass).
First they stopped adults going in , but still elder children supervised the smaller ones , then they barred the older kids form entering and then realized that no one was left to supervise the little children so they shut off access to the boot.
Mhatari Cha Boot in its Glory days (Extreme Left) and standing Forlorn now
Children now will never know the joy of entering the small door and scurrying up the old moulded stairway and standing up in the Balcony, waving out to parents below with the look of conquring Everest.
The Park authorities have seemingly crushed the hopes of children under that very same Boot, the kids so lovingly come to see.
All that the little children can do now is scamper up the side of the boot and sit on it, never knowing that there is more to "Mhatari cha Boot" than the outside. Yes, I am one of the lucky few who had a chance to fully know "Mhatari cha Boot " and never miss out a chance to tell how it is inside, but its not something than can be told as much as experienced.
"Mhatari cha boot" now just stands there sad and forlorn, sans the children that were its soul, it seems it also misses us as much as we miss it.
Maybe be One day "Mhatari cha Boot" will just walk off looking for a place where it and the children will be together and happy again.
Though adults love Hanging Gardens, which are about the only oasis of green in South Mumbai, the main landmark that imprints on Children is the Mhatari Cha Boot that stands across the road, in Kamala Nehru Park which is often confused with the hanging gardens proper.
Kamala Nehru Park with its paved paths (unlike Hanging Gardens that have dirt paths) is as green as the Hanging Gardens but has more by way of entertainment, for kids and grown ups alike.
From here one can see the spectacualr view of Mumbai - Chowpatty and the queens necklace (Marine Drive)
There is also single storied observation deck where we used to have picnic lunches, when I was a kid, which is still as popular.The Round Deck
It also offers a breathtaking view of the Chowpatty and The queens Necklace.
The View from when I was a Kid and from the same location Now.
The chief attraction for kids of all ages and for me then and now is the Boot shaped structure inspired by the famous nursery rhyme "There was an Old Woman who lived in a shoe" which gives it its popular loved name "Mhatari Cha Boot"
For me Hanging gardens used to be synonymous with "Mhatari cha boot" and I used to look forward to my mother (adults were still allowed inside then) taking me up the dark and cool staircase that went up the inside of the boot, and led to the small balcony up front above the laces. I can still vividly recall the how the old concrete walls of the boot almost shut out the outside light and sound, it was like being in a completely different place, smooth walled, cool, dark and tunnel like. That small balcony is the tallest place in the garden and as the garden is already atop a Hill (Malabar Hill) it gave one of the most stunning view one that; by the time I reached High School; only children were a privy to, for the door to the boot was made too small for adults to enter. after a few years a horizontal bar was put up across the door already reduced in height, so that only children bellow a certain height could enter, and how we cursed our growth hormones then. But still the boot had company as small children enter that alternate dimension of the boot's interior. The Boot and children were still happy, and though I missed going in myself I found some joy in looking at the bright looks on kids faces as they stood in that balcony. Then some jerk in the govt. decided it was too risky to let unsupervised children into the structure alone (Bloody dumbass).
First they stopped adults going in , but still elder children supervised the smaller ones , then they barred the older kids form entering and then realized that no one was left to supervise the little children so they shut off access to the boot.
Mhatari Cha Boot in its Glory days (Extreme Left) and standing Forlorn now
Children now will never know the joy of entering the small door and scurrying up the old moulded stairway and standing up in the Balcony, waving out to parents below with the look of conquring Everest.
The Park authorities have seemingly crushed the hopes of children under that very same Boot, the kids so lovingly come to see.
All that the little children can do now is scamper up the side of the boot and sit on it, never knowing that there is more to "Mhatari cha Boot" than the outside. Yes, I am one of the lucky few who had a chance to fully know "Mhatari cha Boot " and never miss out a chance to tell how it is inside, but its not something than can be told as much as experienced.
"Mhatari cha boot" now just stands there sad and forlorn, sans the children that were its soul, it seems it also misses us as much as we miss it.
Maybe be One day "Mhatari cha Boot" will just walk off looking for a place where it and the children will be together and happy again.
Monday, June 2, 2008
My Mornings and Evenings in Kamathipura
Though frequent night-visitors ('Ahem) will feign ignorance about the place called Kamathipura, mostly everyone has seen the place in Movies or Documentary films or at least heard about the biggest Red Light district of Mumbai. And though one seems to want any association with the place, for obvious reasons I must admit that for five years me and my friends have spent almost all our mornings and evenings in Kamathipura.
It all started when I was in the fifth standard (ya that early too) when my School Bus Guy; called DALAL (no pun intended); for some inexplicable reason decided to change the route of our School Bus No5. and take it though Kamathipura. God knows what made him do that, its not like it was a short-cut or anything, in fact navigating the bus though the narrow meandering lane took twice the time the normal route would have. So here were we kids all in assorted sizes and ages making trips though Kamathipura to and from school, twice a day.
And suddenly with the change in the bus no.5's route came many changes in the Bus no. 5's occupants. The older kids lost all interest in their chief bus-ride sport of tormenting us young ones, pulling at our ties and making us fight, and began staring out of the windows for extended periods of time. Which was foolish cause the sights that presented themselves were impossibly ugly, owing to the early hour we caught them without any makeup and usually with a tin can in their hands and a toothbrush in their mouths.
For a few weeks while the novelty lasted we were class heroes, come on we were the only ones to have seen Kamathipura first hand and that to twice a day. The moral and ethical issues apart we kids couldn't t for the life of us understand how anyone could bear to even look that the unsettlingly ugly local produce of the place, much less use it, and that to after spending money, that led us to spend a lot of our lunch breaks debating and questioning male horniness to no avail.
But kids need their fun so first we started squeezing our water bottles and spraying water out of the windows into the lane and later we made up a small jingle that we used to sing/scream while passing through Kamathipura, it went like...........No wont mention it here, don't want my blog blacklisted so soon. It soon became a rage and almost a ritual, no one cared if there were anyones parents riding in the bus as they often did, that jingle had to be sung while passing thought the Kamathipura Lane. It took a lot of complaining and vice principle riding the bus for it to stop i.e. we would now sing it under our breath and then giggle uncontrollably like little gals, it seems so retarded now but hell it was fun in that age.
The highpoint of the bus ride though Kamathipura came before just the Infamous lane ended and merged with the Reputable people's main road, here was Alexandra Cinema famous for showing A rated films. Now we couldn't enter the place being minors, all we could do was leer at the hoardings and posters of the raunchy English films dubbed in Hindi, with titles like Gurram Pani, or Shadi aur Barbadi, Vaishi Darinde and Kaamini, gosh I can remember enough titles to fill up this page. With the internet still in its infancy and not having reached sexual maturity like it has now, the only provocative material available to us was that stuck up on walls of Alexandra cinema.LOL
This trip down memory lane almost makes me miss the trip down the actual lane, wish I could dress up again in those white chaddis and shirt and wear a blue tie around my head (not neck) like Rambo and shout out our song though Bus no 5 spraying water out of the window just one more time.
It all started when I was in the fifth standard (ya that early too) when my School Bus Guy; called DALAL (no pun intended); for some inexplicable reason decided to change the route of our School Bus No5. and take it though Kamathipura. God knows what made him do that, its not like it was a short-cut or anything, in fact navigating the bus though the narrow meandering lane took twice the time the normal route would have. So here were we kids all in assorted sizes and ages making trips though Kamathipura to and from school, twice a day.
And suddenly with the change in the bus no.5's route came many changes in the Bus no. 5's occupants. The older kids lost all interest in their chief bus-ride sport of tormenting us young ones, pulling at our ties and making us fight, and began staring out of the windows for extended periods of time. Which was foolish cause the sights that presented themselves were impossibly ugly, owing to the early hour we caught them without any makeup and usually with a tin can in their hands and a toothbrush in their mouths.
For a few weeks while the novelty lasted we were class heroes, come on we were the only ones to have seen Kamathipura first hand and that to twice a day. The moral and ethical issues apart we kids couldn't t for the life of us understand how anyone could bear to even look that the unsettlingly ugly local produce of the place, much less use it, and that to after spending money, that led us to spend a lot of our lunch breaks debating and questioning male horniness to no avail.
But kids need their fun so first we started squeezing our water bottles and spraying water out of the windows into the lane and later we made up a small jingle that we used to sing/scream while passing through Kamathipura, it went like...........No wont mention it here, don't want my blog blacklisted so soon. It soon became a rage and almost a ritual, no one cared if there were anyones parents riding in the bus as they often did, that jingle had to be sung while passing thought the Kamathipura Lane. It took a lot of complaining and vice principle riding the bus for it to stop i.e. we would now sing it under our breath and then giggle uncontrollably like little gals, it seems so retarded now but hell it was fun in that age.
The highpoint of the bus ride though Kamathipura came before just the Infamous lane ended and merged with the Reputable people's main road, here was Alexandra Cinema famous for showing A rated films. Now we couldn't enter the place being minors, all we could do was leer at the hoardings and posters of the raunchy English films dubbed in Hindi, with titles like Gurram Pani, or Shadi aur Barbadi, Vaishi Darinde and Kaamini, gosh I can remember enough titles to fill up this page. With the internet still in its infancy and not having reached sexual maturity like it has now, the only provocative material available to us was that stuck up on walls of Alexandra cinema.LOL
This trip down memory lane almost makes me miss the trip down the actual lane, wish I could dress up again in those white chaddis and shirt and wear a blue tie around my head (not neck) like Rambo and shout out our song though Bus no 5 spraying water out of the window just one more time.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The List of Extraordinary Gentlemen
I have always been the most critical of my teachers, and though I respect all of them, for reasons as varied as being terrified of them to not wanting to fail their subjects. I will take a bold step forward and make a list of the teachers whom I respect for being teachers as well as good human beings (now that I seem to be beyond their reach.) These are the supermen and women who have achieved the greatest glory of all - of having students (me and others) refer to them as Sirs or Madams with utmost reverence even while talking about them in third person.
Heres a list of the teachers, the archivers -
School
1. Miss. Billimorya
2. Wilfred Norhona
3. Allen Rodrique's
4. Fr. Joe Saldhana
Junior College
1. Mrs. Janghiani (partly because she mothered the hot Preeti Janghiani)
2. Mrs. Sardesai
3. Velinkar Sir (The Boss)
Medical College
1. Lele Madam (or Lele Bai , bai as in guruji and bai , We need more of her type)
2. D. V. Kulkarni
3. Ghadge
4. Kartikeyan Sir (Father figure of RGMC)
5. Amol Sir (the eternal gentleman and thats not because he might happen to read the blog)
7. Pallavi Madam (comes with the Amol Sir package deal, but )
6. Ashutosh Sir ( all gals think hes sweet, need to know his secret dammit)
7. Ghanekar Madam/Bai (again bai used as guruji-bai)
8. Mane sir (Need I specify which one ?)
9. Vishalakshi Mam' (never quite got the spelling of her name)
10. Vivek Sir (Never sat for a lect of his, but somehow he gets the suffix)
11.
12.
13.
Slots kept blank to fill as an when people take offense, Please don't kill me if you do.
And now I Must wonder why the list from RGMC, the place I dont particularly like is the longest ?
Heres a list of the teachers, the archivers -
School
1. Miss. Billimorya
2. Wilfred Norhona
3. Allen Rodrique's
4. Fr. Joe Saldhana
Junior College
1. Mrs. Janghiani (partly because she mothered the hot Preeti Janghiani)
2. Mrs. Sardesai
3. Velinkar Sir (The Boss)
Medical College
1. Lele Madam (or Lele Bai , bai as in guruji and bai , We need more of her type)
2. D. V. Kulkarni
3. Ghadge
4. Kartikeyan Sir (Father figure of RGMC)
5. Amol Sir (the eternal gentleman and thats not because he might happen to read the blog)
7. Pallavi Madam (comes with the Amol Sir package deal, but )
6. Ashutosh Sir ( all gals think hes sweet, need to know his secret dammit)
7. Ghanekar Madam/Bai (again bai used as guruji-bai)
8. Mane sir (Need I specify which one ?)
9. Vishalakshi Mam' (never quite got the spelling of her name)
10. Vivek Sir (Never sat for a lect of his, but somehow he gets the suffix)
11.
12.
13.
Slots kept blank to fill as an when people take offense, Please don't kill me if you do.
And now I Must wonder why the list from RGMC, the place I dont particularly like is the longest ?
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