I'm Licenced in Maharashtra, Not in Cyberspace !!

Its very good that nowadays, almost everyone who is anyone has a decent PC and internet connection in their Home or Offices. And its even better that more and more people are awakening to the better uses (?) of the Internet-PC than to download Porn on the sly. People are becoming more computer friendly and the Internet-PC is become a real good tool for online chatting, mailing, trading, banking, shopping and such.

So ?? Big Bloody Deal !!!

Everyone knows that, Why waste time to write about the obvious - Falling short of material to blog on, are we ???
Well, Yes actually, but this Post is not about the Social Net Awakening that we are going through.

We all know how Video killed the Radio Star and now Email has done just about the same to the Postmen in Khaki (may they rest in peace). Not to mention so many other professions that are or surely will be destroyed by the Internet and PC.

I frankly never thought it would affect the Medical Professional much, of course barring the occasional too well informed patient who has gleaned so much information about his condition from the Net that he frankly knows more about it than his Treating Physician does. Even to the extent of quoting different countries' guidelines of management and research papers on the subject, doses and side-effects and comes to the clinic armed to the teeth with an arsenal of printouts as a proof of the intensive research they have done. And Good heavens, they ask Oh, so many questions the answers to which they already have (and which the physician must know or must conjure up something fast and sound confidently convincing too -- Now that deserves an Oscar, or an Emmy in the very least.)
They just wont pay up and leave till you praise their detective work, and mention a few more medical websites, which they eagerly jot down, with an enormous look of satisfaction - The kind that the enlightened Mr. Buddha must have had sitting under his tree.

I've had these patients and I'm sure most of you other doctors have faced them too (If not, just you wait for these -- Vivas LOL.)
It scares me half to death, yes, it quite frankly does, not just because I need to keep on top of the patient knowledge, or run the risk of looking like a fool, But because I do genuinely feel that sometimes the lesser information a patient has the better it is for him.

Wish I was born in the "Take two tablets and you will be all fine" era it must have truly been paradise.

Then again, whats ya gonna do ? These Net Enabled Patient (NEPs) are out there and there is no escaping them.

But as long as they visit in person and pay up the fees these NEPs are fine by me, but only because there is a even worse breed of Net Mutated Patients out there.

These are the Lazy - Kanjoos - Cyber - Patients (a.k.a. L.K.C.P 's or The Shameless Bhikkus). They act like you are their 'Langoti Yar' or some 'Mele me bichada hoa Bhai' and as a rule always will contact you on the Online instant messengers (Unfortunately I'm always signed in) or email.

They will ping and ping and ping relentlessly forcing you to reply, or will call you up requesting you most politely to come online if possible. They will insist on telling symptoms online, will also send high quality photos of the lesions (Of successive days if needed), will also tell the Blood Pressure and pulse read off swanky digital Blood Pressure monitors.
And if you ask them to do certain blood or other investigations or X-rays or Sonographies they will badger the labs to mail you a copy directly and also scan out and mail the reports themselves.
Curses on these newfangled labs that also provide CDs of Xrays and USGs, it makes it so easy for these type of patients -- they don't even need to move a muscle to scan the Xrays before emailing them any more.
All this just to save the effort of visiting in person or even more importantly to save on coughing up the mere pittance charged as fees.

Presently since I have no way to get paid online and being a bloody good person at heart, mostly I relent and give in to them.

But Hey, I need my bread too, and considering my size quite a lot of it.

So, this goes out to all those people wanting free online advice form me ----Guys visit in person please ------I'M LICENCED IN MAHARASHTRA, NOT IN CYBERSPACE.